so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
