i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
