Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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