if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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