Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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