i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I want is dick and wine.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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