I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
