got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
