i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
