I think scott just propositioned me for sex
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
