dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
