Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
