I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
