I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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