So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
