Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
