I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
