The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
