I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
