Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
