Joe is yelling at the trees again.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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