LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
