Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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