It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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