I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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