Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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