i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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