Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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