Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
