My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
