I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
