Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
