Me too!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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