the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
