Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
