I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
