About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
