Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
