ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
