Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
