I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
