Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
