we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
