Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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