The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
