Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
