I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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