She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
