so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Will exercising make me less horny?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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