Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
